Life isn’t a test, life is life

One of the biggest mistakes that people often make in life is believing that the burdens they carry or the obstacles they face are somehow a test – that somehow the grand events of the universe have coalesced into a unique set of circumstances for only them. Let me just say that you are not that special.

Life is what it is. After your remarks of gratitude towards this captain who sails the ship Obvious, that statement is still true and relevant. Life goes on with or without us, and though life’s events are often shaped by us, they are rarely shaped for us.

When we accept life for what it is, that life happens on its own, we shift our conscious awareness of life into an resigning acceptance. Life on life’s terms, as the cliché is known by some. Once we understand and accept this acceptance, life simply becomes about how to work our way through or around the barriers in our lives. If I have to get to school from home, I simply plan my mode of transportation. What I don’t do is believe that I’m somehow being tested because school is so far away from home. I simply accept this and make accommodations.

If believing that “life is a series of tests” was simply a benign paradigm, there would be no need for this current rant. But it isn’t, and there is. Let me repeat myself: you are not that special. Believing that you are being tested when life gets difficult develops a mentality of victimization, that somehow life is out to get you, and that these things make you somehow more unique than everyone else. The inevitable result is the belief that you are “worthy” of a special set of burdens set aside for either the lowlife or saint.

Hubris shows itself when we believe we are above our station in life. What often goes unrecognized is that believing we are burdened more than the average person is just another form of hubris. You are not that special. It is impossible to develop an attitude of humility when the desire for such humility is born from a foundation of arrogance. There is nothing humble or burdensome about deciding the method and route to take to a destination; likewise, there is nothing humble or burdensome about trying to figure out a way past life’s difficulties.

Granted, there are some things in life that are unique obstacles. This is either because there aren’t too many other people who share them, or because something really is difficult. However rare or difficult something is does not remove it from the necessary paradigm of overcoming it. This is the fundamental difference between victims and survivors. Victims are burdened and stay burdened; survivors are burdened and overcome.

Whatever the case, the burdens and obstacles in life just are. They were not designed for you, nor do they make you special. While participation in life may not have been your choice, how you participate is. Believing that life is a series of tests impairs one’s ability to cope with problems, and is an intoxicating viewpoint that prevents solution-oriented thinking.

Now pardon me while I hop on the bus so I can get to school.

Saw a counsellor at UVic the other day. The tranfer from Camosun to UVic is starting to become areality, thought I don't think it will fully hit until the first or second week of classes.

I really liked the counsellor I was seeing at Camosun. He was a great guy. But, I felt too much like he was more of a colleague rather than a counsellor. He was great to talk to, but I didn't really get any special insight or work the way that counsellors are supposed to do.

It was incredibly refreshing that the counsellor at UVic was able to make a small breakthrough on only our second visit. She gave me a bit of insight that I can use as a tool for future self-analysis, to examine my habit of projecting conflict into the future thus creating anxiety. I feel much better knowing that this counsellor has the capacity to challenge me and get me working on the things I need to work on.

I recognize in her a lot of technique that Maslow developed, but she is able to interject and offer an analysis when needed, which is something that Maslow's technique sorely lacked. She also inadvertantly reminded me that being a counsellor at a university setting makes it so that she is used to having incredibly intelligent persons come in for help. This loses the aspect of uniqueness that I am used to dealing with, and I probably won't get any special recognition for me intellect and personal insights into myself because of it. That's not really a bad thing, just something to help me to remember my place. We'll see how things go from here, but I'm hopeful, but a bit wary knowing that it's unlikely that I can continue to be complacent in my personal growth.